


the heart is hard to translate

by sapphire2309



Category: White Collar
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-06-07 10:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6800302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A peek into the hearts of a few characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. we lie belly up in the pool of us

**Author's Note:**

> This is a challenge that involved putting your music library on shuffle and writing drabbles for the respective lengths of the first five songs. For Challenge 29 - Do The Shuffle - at writerverse. Title from All This And Heaven Too by Florence + The Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Belly Up - Maria Mena

There is a distance between them. It’s unfathomable.

They were lock and key, perfectly molded to fit. How, then, when they fit togetehr perfectly, can they stab each other with nail files just by existing?

Rachel doesn’t know. She can’t comprehend it. She molded herself to fit.

This is some kind of treachery.

It can’t be her. She knows she did everything right.

It’s him. He knows.

“Run away with me,” he says, but his gut is twisting and turning and tearing him up.

And she sees. She was always a brilliant observer.

It’s too late.


	2. goodnight, goodnight, may you be always heartbreaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Goodnight New York - Vienna Teng

She’s leaving so much behind. A city she loves, a city she knows, a city in which her job is just as exciting as she ever wanted.

Neal.

It truly feels like she’s leaving part of herself behind with him. With the city. Oh, either, both, she doesn’t know anymore.

But she’s leaving the city incomplete. She’s leaving with a chunk missing, as if existing in that city is key to being whole.

She wants the job in London. She knows that. But at what cost? 

If the new job was in New York, there would never have been any such dilemma. She would have had everything.

She can’t have everything. So she picks her dream.

Was she wrong?


	3. all dressed down to catch a whiff of the buzz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The List - METRIC

Loving Rachel is a hedonist’s nightmare. The little pleasure he gleans from existing in the same space as her is so far outweighed by the nightmarish bulk of her list of sins that he might collapse under it.

But he does it anyway. He doesn’t know how to stop. He’s always given his whole self whenever he fell in love, and he doesn’t know how to take it back, how to sift shreds of his heart from the thick oozing mess of Rachel’s broken conscience.

Maybe he needs to stay close. Maybe it’ll be magnetized to him.

Maybe he’ll be crushed.

Who knows?


	4. i have tried to find my way, to make it through to a better day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Nothing But The Water (Pt 2) - Grace Potter and the Nocturnals

Christie’s eventual departure leaves her in the middle of a maze with no way out. It’s made no easier by the fact that she wanted her to leave. 

There’s a tangle of walls all around her, all the same dull grey, and she wanders the paths, but all that does is cause her to lose sight of that little clearing in which she found herself at first.

“I don’t get lost. I go exploring,” she says out loud to herself, but it’s not very convincing. 

Maybe looking for a way out isn’t the answer. Maybe she has to make one.

She hefts a sledgehammer into her arms and begins to smash her way out.


	5. dil deewana aaj kho jaaye toh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Phir Na Kehna (Crazy in Zanzibar mix) - Sunidhi Chauhan and Kumar Sanu

All the stars they could ever want litter the sky like cheap glitter. 

They’re lying together in the damp grass, staring up at the spectacle that seems to have arranged itself for them, hands clasped loosely. 

They’ve rarely had moments like these, with no agenda, just a desire for togetherness. 

“It’s beautiful,” Neal murmurs, as though raising his voice might shatter the illusion.

Sara hums her agreement peacefully. 

A shooting star chooses that moment to streak across the sky. If it followed that trajectory to the ground, it could have landed at their feet.

Neal wishes for answers about Emily. Sara wishes for James Bennett’s arrest.


End file.
